At a Loss
A Good Boy and his Fren Eggplant
Image taken 10-9-2019
Hello there. I need to start this post with a trigger warning. This post talks about death and the loss of loved ones. Usually I try to be fairly optimistic in my blog posts. Today, maybe not so much. I have talked about loss and grief in previous posts. There is one type of grief that I haven’t talked about. Loss of a pet. This is something that sometimes feels downplayed. When a loved one passes, there is understanding and hushed tones for a time. When a beloved companion dies, there is sympathy and empathy but also a hurriedness to it. Pets have become a focal point in our culture in the last several years. We dote on them, treat them as kids. We rely on them for comfort and for joy. They provide untold moments of peace and contentment. At the end of that journey with your loyal friend, there is grief. Sadness that is deep and harsh. For those of you who have lost a four legged family member, you know what I am talking about. As I write this, laying beside me on the floor is a member of my family. He is elderly. He’s been with us for nearly his whole life. He is dying of kidney disease. When a loved one is gravely ill, it affects all aspects of your life. All your choices. There is concern and anxiety and the waiting. All of this is tremendously affecting and so difficult. And yet, we do it. I do it. Because the life we get to share with them is worth it. And at the end, it is our honor and our duty to be there for them as they have been there for us. The joy outweighs the pain. The memories bring us smiles. We take comfort in knowing we gave them good lives and they were happy and loved.
When it is over, it is ok to feel the grief. It is ok to take the time you need to recover. For some, diving right back in and starting over with a new friend helps. For others, that takes time. This loss is different from the loss of a human family member, of course it is, but it is deeply personal and can be traumatic. Talk about your friend. Remember them. Grief over the death of a pet does not have to happen behind closed doors. There are in fact support groups right here in Des Moines that deal specifically with this kind of loss. Heck, Hallmark makes cards about it. It is real and you don’t have to double up and feel bad because you are STILL suffering after the loss. Let’s not add shame to the grief. Let yourself recover. And always remember, by having a pet, both your life and their life is richer.
If you are struggling with grief, loss, or other deep emotional issues, please consider clicking on that “Book an Appointment” button. Talking with someone (doesn’t have to be me, but I am willing) may help. Nothing replaces what has passed, but there is a way forward.
Sweet Boy
Image taken 4-19-2020
Cool Boy
Image taken 5-10-2020
Thank you for reading & take care of yourself,
AmyZ
